Desert Days with Pent
by Life Returns
Summary: The second installment of Fire Emblem Follies! See the pain I suffered in the chapter Living Legend from Fire Emblem 7. Rating to be safe.


Yet again, it was Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken, and I was not happy this time. I was in the desert, and I had talked to Hawkeye, and visited the house. Everything seemed to be going well.

Except for Pent.

Pent, as everyone knows, is an NPC in this chapter, a green unit, and he will go after the bosses, enemies and anything else with an enthusiasm that could—and did—get him killed. Additionally, I wanted that Guiding Ring.

But no, even that escaped me. Allow us to look into the past to see what exactly happened with Chaos and the group.

"…So, Lady Chaos, you are saying you have a power?"

"That I do, Kent. I can reset things."

"Reset things? How?"

" I can make time go backward to prevent unnecessary death or carnage. I can do this as many times as I need to." She paused. "Though it does exhaust me."

"Didn't you know that, Kent?" asked Eliwood. "She's used it a few times already."

"Oh."

"It's true," said Chaos, nodding. "Like the…the jail…the…I…" She twitched rapidly. Rath expertly dumped a bucket of water on her head. "Thank you, Rath."

"No problem."

"I'm sorry!" apologized Lucius for the umpteenth time.

"It's not your fault," said Chaos, though everyone knew it was.

Heath looked around. "This place is…desolate. Why are we here again?"

Chaos shrugged. "It was on the way."

Canas smiled. "I love the desert. It's a paradise for magic users."

Erk nodded. "It's easier for us to move in soft material, such as sand, because our shoes are so thin…"

"Well, that's not _my_ fault," said Chaos huffily. "If one of you would just get a job, then—hey, Kent, why don't you get paid?"

"It's Sain's fault, really. I'm paired with him in the army, so…"

"He did bad things?" asked Florina.

"Yes."

Chaos shook her head. "He's so pathetic…have you seen his armor?"

"What about it?"

"Well, it's got a little heart with his name in it on the inside."

Kent made a strangling motion. "That bastard! He got it specially made by our _female_ armor crafter."

"Oh, dear," said everyone in unison. Then there was silence. Wil squinted. "I…see someone."

"What?" demanded Rath. "Let me see." Being a born-and-bred Sacaean and a nomad to boot, he could see very far, even in the glaring angle of the sun. "Yes…yes, there are others here."

Legault crossed his arms. "Well, what are they doing here?"

"Thief, I cannot read motives," said Rath.

Chaos cleared her throat. "Well, battle positions, everyone!"

"Wait!" yelled Wil. "There's a sage over there!"

Erk pointed at himself, confused.

"Wil is right. There is another man. He seems to want to fight these brigands."

Chaos frowned. "All right. Proceed with caution, every—huh?" A large person and his identical twin (they were guessing) had just lumbered up to them. They were rather ugly.

"My name is Jasmine!" Chaos turned around so he wouldn't see her laughing hysterically. "Will you give up?"

There was silence until Chaos choked out, "N…hahah…n…hahaha!...no! Ahahahaha!"

"Oh my, Paul, that's not very nice," said Jasmine.

"Indeed, it isn't," said the other, presumably Paul.

"That's a shame."

"It is."

"I suppose we'll have to beat them to death."

"With pointy things, Jasmine?"

"I think so, Paul." With that, they resumed fight positions.

"Um, Chaos, you can stop laughing now," said Heath.

"Oh…hahaha! Okay." She took a few deep breaths and choked on sand. Rath jumped off his horse and performed the Heimlich maneuver.

"Why is he the only one who knows that maneuver?" asked Oswin.

"Doesn't matter," said Chaos. "How many times do I have to say it? Fight positions!"

"Yes, ma'am!" chorused the rallied fighters.

Chaos readied herself. Don't worry, you'll find out why. "And…GO!" Erk and Lucius shot into the desert, followed closely by Canas, still weighed down by his robes. Canas tripped over something. It was an Ocean seal. He pocketed it. Guy noticed a house to the south and asked Eliwood if he would follow. Eliwood agreed to the request, and the two headed casually for the village house. Guy knocked thrice on the door, a Sacaean custom (I made it up…), and waited for the reply. The door swung open.

"Hi! Did you know that you can find things in the sand?" asked a little girl.

Eliwood nodded, smiling. "Our friend has found something already," he said.

"Ooh! Good." The little girl nodded. "Good luck!" She smiled at Eliwood.

Guy closed the door gently and turned around. "SWEET ELIMINE!"

"What? Guy, am I that ugly?" asked Eliwood.

"H…he's huge!"

"Who is?" Eliwood whirled around. "Oh my—"

A large man was looming over them. "Are you Eliwood of Pherae?" demanded the tall blond man.

"Um…no!" said Eliwood.

"Oh," said the tall guy. "What about you?" he asked Guy.

"No, I'm…uh…Matthew!" said Guy stupidly.

"Well, that's a shame. I was sent to help Eliwood and his party because they're so pathetic without me. Except that Oswin guy. Yeah. He kicks ass. Not as much ass as me though. My name is Hawkeye, and I never miss."

"Well, actually, I _am_ Eliwood," said Eliwood.

"Retard," said Hawkeye. "I knew that along."

Guy wondered aloud, "Then why did you ask?"

Hawkeye was silent. "Shut up."

"Fine," said Eliwood. "Come on. We have to save the sagey man over there."

"Sagey man? Oh, you mean Pent. Yeah. He's a retard too. He charges into danger without any thought whatsoever. He thinks he's invincible. He's also married, which means he's not invincible. Louise has a stranglehold over him. Literally."

Eliwood twitched. "Let's just go," he said.

Hawkeye reported immediately to Chaos. "Hey, you. Crazy lady. You need to rescue Pent."

"Is that that loser's name?"

"Yes it is."

"Okay. Fetch, Heath!"

Heath knocked Chaos unconscious. "He's the guy with purple hair, right?"

"Yeah," said Hawkeye.

Just then, Jasmine attacked Pent. Pent was killed. Hawkeye made a funny face. "Well, Louise isn't going to be happy."

Chaos sprung up from her unconsciousness. "Reset!"

They had the same exact conversations as before. Blah blah blah.

"You need to rescue Pent," said Hawkeye again.

Blah blah unconscious blah purple hair blah.

Pent eyed Jasmine warily, in a sense of déjà vu. He shrugged and headed towards Paul. Paul noticed him coming and struck him down. "Dammit!" yelled Hawkeye. "Whoa…déjà vu."

"Reset!"

Blah. Blah. Bad pun blah.

Pent, unsure of where to go, took out a few more minor inconveniences. Rath stared at Jasmine oddly. "He's got a nice-looking ring on him."

"What's it look like?" asked Legault with interest.

"It's kinda swirly in the middle," said Rath.

"Oh, that's a Guiding Ring," said Canas casually, having appeared out of nowhere. "You can promote magic units with them."

"Legault! Steal it," barked Chaos.

"Yes, ma'am," said Legault proudly.

"Florina, you go with him to rescue his pathetic thief weak non-fighting ass afterward."

"Yes, ma'am. Wait, what?"  
"Never mind. Just follow him."

"Okay."

So Florina set out after Legault. "Legault! Wait up!"

"You'll have to catch up yourself," called Legault. "I've got my orders!"

Florina crossed her arms. "You're so mean!"

"I know!"

Pent turned around and noticed Legault and Florina. "Stay back," he called. "I'll handle this."

"The hell you will," spat Legault, going for his knife.

"Elfire!" And Pent roasted Jasmine.

Legault made a funny twitching face. "I was gonna steal something from him…"

"Oh. My apologies." Pent turned and took out an archer. "Watch yourselves!"

Legault and Florina looked at each other nervously. "Who wants to say it?" asked Florina. Legault didn't say anything. "Well," continued Florina, "Chaos is going to kill us."

Legault nodded bleakly. "Oh well."

One they reported back and told the story, Chaos nodded understandingly. "Alright. I'll give you another chance."

Kent did a double take. He pulled his gauntlet off and felt Chaos' forehead. "Are you feverish?"

"Shut up, stupid paladin!" she yelled. She put her fingers in the cross position. "Reset!" The time rewound about five minutes, back to before Pent killed the bastard.

Unfortunately, this time, just as he was about to pounce on Jasmine, Legault suffered a sudden heatstroke and collapsed. Florina shrieked and rushed to pick him up. Pent looked over to see the trouble. Heath yelled, "Oh, no you don't!" and grabbed him by the waist. He knocked the sage over the head with a Heavy Spear and tied him to the back of his wyvern. "Alright, you overgrown lizard, let's go!"

Florina and Heath reported back to Chaos. She looked at Legault and frowned. "Get Priscilla over here, Kent. Or Lucius, whichever can get here fast enough." A minute later, the bishop arrived. "Alright, Lucius, can you take care of Legault, please? He's a complete moron…wearing that cloak in this heat…"

"What's our next plan of action?" asked Heath.

"Proceed as you would with anyone else. Kill anyone that gets in your way, but use caution. After all, you are…" She glanced at Hawkeye. "You are carrying 'precious cargo.'" She poked the sage in the shoulder.

"Yeah, right," snorted Heath. "He's caused more trouble than he's fixed."

"You have no idea," said Chaos scarily.

A note about resetting: Chaos and Eliwood seem to be the only two who currently realize it's been done, Chaos because she performs it and Eliwood because he's special. Additionally, the dragon siblings can tell because they're dragons. Yeah. Above, when Lucius was apologizing, there's an explanation as to why everyone knew about the resetting. Chaos usually tells the cause of the resetting (in this case, Lucius) how many times she had to reset on their behalf to make them feel guilty, and Lucius was in hysterics and told everyone except Kent, evidently.

Heath smiled nervously. "Okay then…I'll be going now." He kicked his wyvern and it rose into the sky.

"Kick some ass!" called Chaos. Heath raised a hand to show he understood.

Kent asked the tactician, "What are we going to do with Hawkeye?"

Chaos shrugged. "No idea. Use him as you will."

"Okay…"

After clearing out the enemies and keeping Pent safe, their mission was complete, even though Chaos was still sore about that Guiding Ring.

Now allow me to explain what _actually _happened. Pent died twice. Pent killed Jasmine before I could steal the ring. Then…_then_…just as everything was going fine…I made a tragic discovery. Legault could not get close enough to steal the ring. Just ONE SPACE and he would have been able to, but no. So regretfully, I lost my chance at a Guiding Ring, but overall that was actually a good thing, because I didn't have one when Canas was at like level 15 but I got one when he was level 20, so I couldn't have been tempted to promote him at a weaker level. Woohoo!

Next up in Fire Emblem Follies: Breaking Out with Raven and Lucius.


End file.
